Cold 'Nuff For Ya?

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With a local high today of -6 F (and an over-night low of -13), this old chestnut seems especially appropriate. (Incidentally, the stuff below is all true... more or less. Just ask any Minnesotan! :-)

Minnesotans & The Temperature

60 above zero:
  • Floridians turn on the heat.
  • People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50 above zero:
  • Californians shiver uncontrollably.
  • People in Duluth sunbathe.
40 above zero:
  • Italian & English cars won't start.
  • People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
  • Distilled water freezes.
  • The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero:
  • Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
  • People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
  • New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
  • People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero:
  • People in Miami all die.
  • Minnesotans close the windows.
10 below zero:
  • Californians fly away to Mexico
  • People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
  • Hollywood disintegrates.
  • The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
  • Washington DC runs out of hot air.
  • People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
  • Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
  • Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
  • ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
  • People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
  • Hell freezes over.
  • Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

© original author unknown

Newsvine Article
published Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:37 AM CST
Tags
humor, winter, snow, frost, ice, chill, freeze, zero-degrees, sub-zero, absolute-zero, cold, bitter-cold, freezing-cold, biting-cold, cold-bites, horribly-cold, cold-enough, programmerdude