It is reported on the internet that Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.
Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of earlier versions of Microsoft's Windows operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, “We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been until now an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables).”
The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:
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A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. |
The Web site you seek cannot be located, but endless others exist. |
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Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. |
Everything is gone; Your life's work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? |
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Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. |
ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. |
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First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. |
With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: “My Novel” not found. |
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The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. |
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. |
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Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? |
No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zen engineering? |
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The code was willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. |
Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again |
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Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. |
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. |
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Server's poor response Not quick enough for browser. Timed out, plum blossom. |
Login incorrect. Only perfect spellers may enter this system. |
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Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. |
Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. |
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You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. |
Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. |
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This site has been moved. We'd tell you where, but then we'd have to delete you. |
To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy |
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Wind catches lily Scatt'ring petals to the wind: ‘Segmentation fault’ |
There is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can't bridge |
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Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. |
Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: “File not found.” |
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Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. |
The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone. |
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Hal, open the file Hal, open the damn file, Hal open the, please Hal |
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