Why We Don't Use Windows
  • Can't stick our heads out of Windows 95.
  • Fetch command not available on all platforms.
  • Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
  • Too difficult to "mark" every website we visit.
  • Can't help attacking the screen when we hear "You've Got Mail."
  • Fire hydrant icon simply too frustrating.
  • Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway we're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
  • Keep bruising our noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
  • Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
  • Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
  • Oh, but we WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
  • Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
  • 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! (Now, cats, on the other hand...)
  • Barking in next cube keeps activating OUR voice recognition software.
  • SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
  • SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
  • Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
  • Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
  • Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

    • ...and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
  • TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *
    (* Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws.)
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